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Did I Have An Orgasm?

March 6, 2012

I started masturbating when I was really young. The earliest memories I have of masturbation are from when I was about five years-old. I don’t think I really understood what I was doing, I just knew that it felt good, and that I had to hide when I was doing it. It wasn’t until I was about 10 years-old that I started feeling guilty about it. Maybe that’s the age where I became aware of what it was and what it meant. I kept doing it, but for a short period there, right around the same time my grand-father was dying of cancer I felt really ashamed.

Fast forward a couple of years, and beyond masturbation, I became aware of what an orgasm was. I don’t know how or when exactly. Maybe it was reading my brother’s penthouse magazines and all the descriptions of what it was like to cum, just before I hit puberty, masturbation was no longer just this thing I did that felt good, it was supposed to come with a big ‘O’ at the end.

For years, I thought I wasn’t having orgasms. It never felt the way it has been described. It didn’t happen in the same way it did for guys; with an end point, with ejaculation. I thought I was missing something. Where were my fireworks? And uncontrollable body spasms? I’d masturbate, hit this plateau that felt really good and then stop. There was no big explosion at the end. I didn’t know that I could keep going, or that orgasms come in many different shapes and forms.



I can’t tell you when I had an orgasm for the first time, because I was probably having them all along. With practice, experience, maturity, inhibition, and the help of a few sex toys and strong jets of water pressure, I discovered I could keep going beyond that plateau.

Not only, can I have one orgasm, but I can have multiple orgasm in a row. The first one is good, the plateau takes a little dip and then goes back up again, and the second is even better. It can go on and on like this until I’m satisfied, but there’s always this feeling like I could keep going, like I still haven’t had the big “O’. I thought the big ‘O’ would feel like an ending, like all my sexual energy and pleasure would be released, but it doesn’t feel like that. It all still kind of hovers around my body; clinging to me until my blood flow starts moving in other directions besides my genitals, but it’s still there and I can harness it anytime I want.

Multiple orgasms are something that used to confuse me as well. I thought a “multiple orgasm” would be like a string of firecrackers blowing up one after the other; pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,my body seizing in an ongoing spasm, but the reality is different. There’s a pause between each one, for me anyhow, and then there’s another build up, and another, and another.



These days, when masturbating, I rarely (err pretty much never) stop at one orgasm. I don’t know how many I could have in a row, but I usually stop at around 3 or 4. The second, third, and fourth orgasms are usually really easy to achieve, because I’m riding the wave of the first one, and they tend to build in intensity, but I find that after 4 orgasms, the next one begins to be more difficult to achieve.

So, ya, I’ve been having orgasms for years. I’ve even ejaculated a few times, but there was a moment where I consciously decided “yup, I’m having an orgasm.” When people say you’ll know it when you have it, they clearly don’t know what it’s like to doubt your own body and its reactions, or to simply be confused about what it should feel like.

It’s difficult to explain what an orgasm feels like, and I think people tend to use flowery language, or literary metaphors and exaggerations to explain how good it feels, which in my opinion leads to a lot of confusion and erroneous expectations.

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