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Camel Toe Cup & Merkin Love

February 27, 2012

click image to enlarge

I found this ad, which I can only assume is a parody of products like Smooth Groove and Camelflage, when I  was perusing the Internet for stories last night.  I can’t really speculate about its creators intent, but I can tell you that I find it amusing. I’ve pretty much already said what I’ve needed to say about the camel toe in the two posts I linked to above, but I felt like more people needed to see this. If only because it makes anti-camel toe products seem that much more ridiculous. I wouldn’t want anyone to use this parody as a way to create more shame, or to make fun of the “dreaded” camel toe, but if you’ve got a good sense of humor, I think it’s possible to see this type of parody as a way to embrace that vulva.

It reminds me of this video by The Young Punx and Amanda Palmer in that there’s-no-actual-connection-this-is-just-how-my-mind-works kind of way:

Map of Tasmania

They don’t play the song on the radio
They don’t show the tits on the video
They don’t know that we are the media
They don’t know that we start the mania
Your Eyes don’t want to see what I’m making you
Your ass is off its seat and I’m shaking you
Walking down the street I’m the lady – ah –
Showing off my map of Tasmania

Soft and sweet and shaped like a triangle
Some girls want no shape and they shave it all
That’s so whack, it hurts with the stubble
Walking ’round and look like an eight-year-old
Soft and sweet and shaped like a triangle
Some girls want no shape and they shave it all
That’s so whack, it hurts with the stubble
Walking ’round and look like an eight-year-old

I say grow that shit like a jungle
Give ‘em something strong to hold onto
Let it fly in the open wind
If it get too bushy, you can trim

They don’t play the song on the radio
They don’t show the tits on the video
They don’t know that we are the media
They don’t know that we start the mania
You Eyes don’t want to see what I’m making you
Your ass is off its seat and I’m shaking you
Walking down the street I’m the lady – ah –
Showing off my map of Tasmania

My map is symbolic
It get drunk a lot
Hey, does that make it an alcoholic?
Call it M.O.T. for short
Let’s take this bottomless case straight to the court
Freedom down there, i swear, do you see me smirkin’?
Do you see me wearing a merkin ?
Get in the formation let start
Triangle jerkin’
Triangle jerkin’

Putting aside my personal preferences aside, I would never tell anyone what the “right” thing to do is regarding going bare or sporting some bush on their genitals, I just dislike the idea of someone feeling like they have to wax or shave, because of some bullshit societal pressure that makes them/us feel like pubes are gross and unclean.

I like pubes, and even though I reject the idea that pubic hair is somehow nasty, my personal grooming choices were and are shaped by exterior expectations and pressures. If that pressure, aesthetic or otherwise, didn’t exist we’d probably all “grow that shit like a jungle,” but the vast majority of us are constantly balancing what we think is right, what we prefer, with what we think is most acceptable and what we think is most appealing to others.

Not to over-generalize, but I think we all want to thought of as attractive, I certainly do, and part of what we do to ourselves to fit into that category is shaped by society, by what others think of us. I reject certain aspects of it, but I also buy into what I’m told is attractive. Even when we do things just for ourselves… even when I shave my legs in the dead of winter when no one else is going to see them, I do it in part, because that’s what I’ve been socialized to think is most appealing.

From camel toes, to silky smooth vulvas, to merkins, all these choices are informed by expectations of what is considered attractive. Even the rejection of certain aesthetic expectations, like not shaving your underarms, are shaped by these ideals. To not fit the mold becomes, in part, a political choice. It says a big “fuck you” to the world.

All these choices aren’t always done with self-awareness. At least, I hope not, because how fucking exhausting would that be?! Someone might not give a second thought about not shaving their underarms, they simply don’t care, don’t think about it, but at the same time, we can’t escape what our choices reflect to the outside world. They say something about us, they indicate what we accept and what we reject about society and what is considered beautiful even if that meaning is imposed on our choices by others.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2012 1:09 pm

    I learned something today. Namely, what Tasmania is shaped like.

  2. February 27, 2012 6:02 pm

    I have started pondering what the etiquette is for going down on someone with a merkin. Miss Manners would probably shit herself if I asked her. But I do wonder…

  3. February 27, 2012 6:05 pm

    I never considered that, interesting question. I feel like looking into it now…

  4. February 27, 2012 8:21 pm

    Now that I know what a merkin is, I totally want to make some and sell them on etsy.com

  5. February 29, 2012 4:06 pm

    @Ladyaga: Do it!

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