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Feeling Blue…

December 2, 2011

I’m feeling kind of blah today, I blame all the snow. I’m trying to look at it through the wonder of a child’s eyes, but that’s not enough to shake off the blues. Maybe it’s because I woke up and googled someone I had forbidden myself to google. There’s nothing like falling prey to your basic self-destructive urges to get you down.

I’ve been staring at this screen for the last ten minutes wondering what to write next and whether this post was at all appropriate for Cuntlove. Probably not, it doesn’t real fit in with the whole “sex positive” theme. Hell, it’s not even positive, but as someone once told me it’s my freakin’ blog and I can write what I want.

Okay, enough is enough. You can only feel sorry for yourself for so long before it starts becoming annoying. Sometimes when I feel like this, I wallow in it all day. I take a “sick day” bury myself under a mountain of blankets, watch movies, and check out.

It feels good to do that once in a while, but sometimes you also have to remind yourself that it’s okay to transgress your own rules, that “failing” doesn’t make you weak or pathetic, that you can forgive yourself, pat yourself on the back and move on. You have to show yourself the compassion that you offer to others.

I would never judge a friend as harshly as I do myself, and I think that’s a statement that holds true for many people. The thing is, when you judge yourself so poorly you send out the message that you hold others to the same standard.

When a chick who wears a size two is complaining about how fat and disgusting she is, she’s sending out the message that everyone over a size two is much much worse, even though the same chick would be the first to call her size twelve friend beautiful and mean it.

That may be an easy example and it might not apply to all of you, but I think you get the gist of what I’m trying to say here. Compassion is the key. When you enter into a mental tail spin where you get down on yourself, and then even worse, you judge yourself for judging yourself so badly you have to remind yourself to go a little easy and show yourself some true honest compassion.

What do you do when you’re feeling blue? Do you have any secrets hidden up your sleeve that are just begging to be shared with the world?

7 Comments leave one →
  1. December 2, 2011 12:44 pm

    “The thing is, when you judge yourself so poorly you send out the message that you hold others to the same standard.”
    I believe that when you judge yourself so poorly you send out the message that you expect others to judge you the same way: poorly.

    It’s good to take a step back and consider, from the perspective of the universe, how much your personal transgressions affect the world at large: not very much! Why should you let it affect yourself so much?

  2. December 2, 2011 12:47 pm

    Good point, Sam! I never looked at it that way.

  3. Patrick permalink
    December 2, 2011 1:30 pm

    Its amazing how much the weather affects our mood especially this time of year when the days are short and cloudy. One thing that helps me out is to do some form of activity that gets me up and around. That could be going for a short hike to just get away from everything for awhile and just clear my head. Another thing that works for me is making plans with a friend to meet up for a run. The hardest part is just starting, but once you do the blues start to go away.

    Yesterday, I fell into a mental tail spin myself with a project at work. You start doubting yourself and your capabilities. Its always great to talk with a colleague or a friend about the situation. We all have these moments and we all cope differently. Being active or doing something that I have a passion for always helps me get through difficult times.

  4. Marla permalink
    December 2, 2011 3:29 pm

    I have two major mechanisms for coping with perceived failures in myself.

    One is the one I think you were getting at. Remind yourself that you deserve as much slack as anyone else – it helps me a lot to think about how much I completely wouldn’t judge people for making the mistakes I sometimes beat myself up over.

    The other one is to explicitly consider what I can learn from whatever mistake I’ve just made and to develop a concrete plan to avoid similar ones in the future. It makes me feel productive and introduces some optimism into the picture. (This one is not so applicable to your current situation, though, I think – it’s more about individual circumstances and less about the persistent rules one lives by).

  5. December 2, 2011 8:20 pm

    I take a slug of Prozac. It helps until the next dose is due.

  6. December 12, 2011 12:45 am

    Living with someone who is willing to tell you to get off your ass and get a hold of yourself, at the risk of getting their head ripped off, can be helpful sometimes. If your significant other or close friend won’t do it, who will?

  7. Cruel permalink
    December 21, 2011 6:40 am

    Life is fleeting, nothing lasts forever You are not alone at some point everyone feels this way. Some more than others. It will pass, remember nothing last forever.

    This the first truth of being human. We all suffer.

    Its not important why its just a thought, thinking at size two that you fat doesn’t make it true. Thoughts are just thoughts see them for what they are fleeting, lack real substance, impermanent. What ever the cause was it has a solution.

    Sometimes it just takes a little bravery to face things but in the end it likely won’t kill you. Enjoy your blankets watch your movie then get back to it

    Cruel

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