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Where do You Keep Your Porn?

September 5, 2010

I was visiting my Dad today, having lunch with him and his girlfriend for his birthday. Later on while I was using the facilities in an effort to empty my bladder, I was looking for something to read in the magazine rack next to the toilet and the first thing I picked up was a porn mag. I winced. And I may have groaned a little on the inside. I almost yelled out, “Since when do you keep your porn in the bathroom?”, but then I realized the wince factor had to do with the fact that it was my Dad’s bathroom and I didn’t want to think about him getting all out and bothered while emptying his bowels.

I don’t own any porn. No mags, no dvds. I would seek out my brother’s porn when we still lived at home, but for some reason it never crossed my mind to get my own when I moved out. If I suddenly get a hankering for porn, which rarely happens, there’s always the Internet. I do however have my own stash of sex paraphernalia: sex toys, condoms, lubes, etc, and I keep those where I keep my toiletries, which is to say in a drawer in my room. They’re not hidden per se, just put away. Most of the time.

The very first vibe I ever owned (while I was still living with my parents) was wrapped in a t-shirt, stuffed in a bag, and hidden at the bottom of my closet. Boy, was I ever paranoid my Dad’s girlfriend would find it while on one of her cleaning sprees. Now, I complete forget about the vibrator charging in the hallway and won’t remember it’s in plain sight until someone comes over and points it out to me and even then I’ll just shrug, move on, and forget about it again.

I know some people will keep their triple X movies with the rest of their movie collection, while others make serious efforts to keep them hidden from their spouses or whoever enters their home. I’m more of the “I don’t really care” type of person (except, maybe, if my parents are visiting), but how about you:

Where do you keep your porn?

7 Comments leave one →
  1. September 5, 2010 7:50 pm

    In plain view, except for the homemade stuff. For the decency of all involved, I keep that locked up, lest some black guard decides to upload it to porn tube or something.

  2. September 6, 2010 7:40 am

    Under the bed. Books and stories, no mags. Like you said, there is always the internet.

  3. September 7, 2010 10:51 am

    Ohhhh, here’s a delicate subject! We own a couple of “Lovers Guide” videos which we have always kept in plain sight as we felt that if our sons ever felt the need to look at sexual images they may as well be educational ones! To my knowledge they have never done so & since we no longer have a VCR we should probably throw them out. They would certainly find them old fashioned compared to the stuff they probably look at on their computers.
    We do however have a considerable collection of photos of ourselves that we have accumulated over the past 9 to 10 years & they are kept securely hidden on USB memory sticks with password protection! As for watching porn, on the very rare occasions that we do so we get it off the internet as we do not have particularly explicit stuff on cable here in the UK.

  4. Janvanize permalink
    September 9, 2010 4:55 pm

    Not only did my parents populate the bathrooms with magasines but they also got the playboy channel after my brother moved out. LOL Subesequently my mom had the channel cancelled because there was too much tit and not enough man ass but the point is that they do not care that the magasines are out in “public view”. As a child my father recorded Blue Nuit (TV porn) and the tapes were all easily accessible for us kids just mixed amongst the pile of blank tapes. So I guess they didn’t really care then either.
    Now, internet it where it’s all at for me, although I would consider a book, novel style if ever you know of any 😀

  5. September 9, 2010 10:34 pm

    That’s pretty cool. You know, I never met your parents, I have no idea what either of them look like.

    I remember, sometimes, coming home at night on the weekend at whatever time Blue Nuit would play and catching my Mom watching it. And she’d be pretty casual about it or just change the channel as if she was just channel surfing. I mean Blue Nuit was pretty soft-core, like softer than soft-core. The first porn or sex related stuff I found was at my best-friend’s house when I was 10-11-ish. We would go through her parents closet all the time and her dad hid all his stuff at the same place..behind a pile a sweaters on the top shelve. We also found a vibrator hidden in one of those really long white gloves in her grand-ma’s dresser drawer. We weren’t looking for “illicit” stuff per se, just playing dress up. I remember not wanting to look in the glove and have a vague understanding of what it all was, but not wanting to acknowledge it any further. Her Dad’s porn was all very 60’s era. Hippies in a field type of deal.

  6. October 7, 2010 11:40 pm

    It depends on whether the “porn” is more of an art form (in my opion) vs naughty porn. Naughty is hidden (along with paddles, whips, etc) but art is not so much displayed in the open but it can be found on the book shelf.

    By the way I enjoy the idea of Cuntlove. When I get the chance I will post an image of the most beautiful cunt you will ever find, that being , my wife’s.

  7. October 9, 2010 3:44 pm

    @M Bishop: Thanks and welcome!! Always great to hear from new people.

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