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Cuntlove’s Top Ten Pervy Search Engine Terms

August 25, 2010

The search engine terms that lead people to this blog never cease to amaze me. Here are a few of my favorites (from the last seven days), from the most disturbing to the funniest, and in no specific order (yes, even though they are numbered). Also, I lied when I said it was a top ten, turns out to be more of a top twenty-three.

  1. Strawberry cervix: Strawberry taste, strawberry colored, maybe an actual strawberry wedged into someone’s cervix? Who knows what this person was truly looking for.
  2. Japanese train rape video: Even though I’ve googled from  some porn rape clips of my own, I still find it troubling when I see this particular one listed in my stats. Also, this exact search is really common. I wonder if there’s a specific video out here that all these people are looking for…
  3. Demons raping women porn: Ah yes, try La Blue Girl anime, you’ll get plenty of demon rapes fests in that movie (or should I say movies since it’s a freakin‘ franchise). If you’re looking from some literal demon action, sorry, I can’t help you there.
  4. Vagina finger: Do you think this person wanted to see a picture of a finger inside a vagina? Because all I can think about is a mutant finger topped with a vagina.
  5. Can I fill your cervix with cum?: It’s not a receptacle.
  6. Hidden vagina: Am I the only one thinking of an adult version of peek-a-boo?
  7. Alpha beta delta rem orgasm: I just like the sound of this one. It’s like a mantra… repeat it over and over again and you’ll see what I mean.
  8. Female parts: Is someone building a zombie?
  9. Is eating vagina with a Listerine strip ok?: I can’t see why not.
  10. Kids playing doctor porn: This one is just plain disturbing. Look elsewhere or better yet STOP LOOKING FOR KITTY (haha, oups, I mean KIDDY) PORN!
  11. Finger in cervix: Ouch.
  12. Cuntlove vibrator: Maybe I should start merchandising.
  13. Masturbation equals cheating: No!
  14. Pubic air blow drying: Huh, I actually wrote about that. Search my archives.
  15. What does your vulva look like?:
  16. Will my first internal exam pop my cherry?: I looked this one up myself, after reading this, and the answer is no. More on that in a later post.
  17. Big ol’ snatch: You gotta love someone who likes themselves some big ol’ snatch.
  18. Friends cunt: I cannot stop picturing someone obsessed with the cast of friends. Pictures of Rachel, Monica and Pheobe ripped out of magazines superimposed with pics from porn mags.
  19. Why I love your pussy top ten: To everyone who is dating someone who has a pussy, go home make this list and give it to your lover. Sincerely, Olga.
  20. Underage school girls rape video: Again, what the hell is wrong with this world?
  21. View from inside vagina: All you need is a room of your own… with a nice view.
  22. Pee tights: Is there money in this? Should I pee in some tights and sell them over Ebay?
  23. Pelvic examination using whisk: This reminds me of the movie Dead Ringers. If you don’t get the reference, go rent it now. It’s amazing and  disturbing and amazing. Also, ouch.
7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 25, 2010 10:53 pm

    “Japanese train rape video” – That one’s a pretty common “genre” in Japan, as far as I can tell from my internet porn browsing/travels in Japan. I have rape fantasies so am no necessarily against it, as such, but in the context of the problems on the trains in Japan where women were getting groped and molested far too often, it bothers me somewhat…

    *Maybe it still is a big problem, not sure if it is now they’ve made separate compartments for women on the trains during peak hour. Obviously the underlying problem won’t be solved via segregation, in any case.

  2. August 25, 2010 10:57 pm

    Wow that wasn’t the most articulate comment I’ve ever made! Hope it made sense!

    Also, people are always finding my blog when looking for “kiddy porn” and such things. It’s pretty disturbing.

  3. August 25, 2010 11:03 pm

    It made perfect sense, don’t worry.

    Now, that you mention it I have a faint recollection of reading about or hearing about the japanese rape train “genre” (as you put it).

    Ya, any search terms that involve kids and porn is just plain disturbing. It’s one thing to have a conceptual idea that kid porn is, unfortunately popular, and another to see with your own eyes that there’s someone out there searching for it and, I’m guessing, getting off on it…unless it was for research or something. Makes me feel icky.

  4. August 26, 2010 1:32 pm

    I wrote a poem called “Seed Porn” complaining about all the glossy magazines that show impossible gardens. What I want to know is why people keep searching for seed porn!

  5. August 26, 2010 2:49 pm

    I dunno. Maybe seed refers to semen.

  6. naturegirl1 permalink
    August 26, 2010 3:25 pm

    No 21 could be a womb with a view……

  7. August 26, 2010 3:29 pm

    Haha, nice one.

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