I Had a Revealing Dream
Do you ever have the kind of dream that you feel is revealing in some way? That’s the kind of dream I had last night. A dream that was most probably prompted by the post I wrote yesterday. In my dream, I was sitting in something reminiscent of a class room. There were two women sitting together to my right. They sat close together, linking arms, whispering and giggling to one another. My attention was diverted towards them. They were talking about me, or at least that’s the impression I got. You see I was dressed in a manner that was rather attention getting: big sunglasses, flashy, clunky accessories and funky clothes. A fact that I only became aware of once I saw it through their eyes.
The two women asked me if I dressed that way to stand out, whether I was trying to get everyone’s attention. In my dream, I asked myself if my manner of dress was a cry for attention. It was a jarring experience to have to look at oneself from this new perspective, but as soon as I considered it, I realized that I was simply comfortable. I smiled to the two women and told them just that: “I’m comfortable” and as soon as I said that, I felt a sense of relief, because I was suddenly rid of their perspective and all the flashy aspects of my appearance melted away into the background so that I could no longer perceive them. I simply felt at ease. It was enough to just be comforted by the feeling of being true to myself. That’s what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning and it felt good. To not only understand something about myself, but to have “felt it along my pulse”. It’s easy to lose sight of that sometimes: that it’s enough to be happy just to be yourself.