Bring a Little Sparkle Into Your Life
I was browsing the aisles at the pharmacy the other day while waiting for my prescription to be filled, when I stopped in front of the hair removal section. They were out of the wax I usually buy, so I was looking for something else that could do the job when I noticed a box of pre-made wax strips that contained glitter. Let me say that again, glitter. Yes, glitter. The first thing I asked myself was why? I don’t know about you, but glitter body wax doesn’t exactly spell out high quality product to me. With all of the problems that can be caused by waxing: ingrown hair, bruising, etc, you would think that last thing on someone’s mind would be adding sparkles into the mix.
A few more thoughts ran through my head while I stood there in disbelief, “are they trying the make the experience fun?”, “are they trying to attract a younger clientele that just go crazy for anything that sparkles?” Whatever the reason, it just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, if sparkling green wax somehow makes the entire process more enjoyable for you, I’m not here to judge, I just wonder about the meaning behind it all. Can’t you just imagine some execs sitting around a table all pondering the next revolutionary idea when one guy speaks up and says “why not add some glitter?” The entire room wakes up like a roar had just rippled through every fibers of their beings “Yes! That’s it! Glitter, why hadn’t we thought of it before?”
And then I remembered something else, something my friend Liz had brought to my attention just a couple of weeks ago. Actually, if I remember correctly, she demanded an investigative report on a new trend: vagazzling, which, no kidding, is a combination between the words bedazzle and vagina. Yes, yes, that’s right, the bedazzler is the home appliance that was marketed to young girls who wanted to apply gems, beads and rhinestones to their clothing and accessories and now the same principle applies to your vagina.
When I think of sparkling gems adorning my vagina, I can’t help but think: uncomfortable and unpractical. Think for a second how uncomfortable or even painful it is to have someone’s or your own stubble rubbing and grinding against your genitals and you’ll get a pretty close image to what I imagine sex would be like with a gem encrusted cunt. Practical considerations aside, I don’t really care if you want to dress up your cunt in a top hat and tap shoes, let alone glittering gems, but I am happy to report that this hasn’t been one of those trends that sweep the nation with a non-stop fervor. Putting my personal taste aside, I can however see how this practice could be interesting from a purely aesthetic point of view. I’m thinking some interesting photography of sparkling genitalia could somehow come out of this. At the very minimum, it’s an intriguing consideration.