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I Love Getting Mail

March 23, 2010

I struck a deal with the Devil, Ok not the devil, a Doll really, a dominating Doll. In exchange for some reviews written by yours truly, I get to test out some sex toys. Yes, you read that right, I’m getting some free swag. I’ve been waiting for my box of goodies for a few weeks now and I was pretty excited the other day when I came home to find a slip in my mail box from the postman. Unfortunately, the post office’s schedule didn’t quite jibe with my work schedule and I had to wait a couple days before being able to pick it up. Waiting for my day off felt like an eternity, I was pretty excited by the time Sunday came along. 

In line at the post office, I was wondering how discreet the box would be and then I momentarily felt ashamed that I might be embarrassed by a box full of vibrators. It’s hard to ignore social stigmas sometimes. Even though the box turned out to be rather plain and brown, I still felt like I was carrying a secret. Sort of like when you have a dirty dream about someone and when you see them you feel like they can see right through you. The package was so big it barely fit into my biggest cloth shopping bag. Walking out of the post office, for a second I felt like pointing at the bag and declaring that it was full of sex toys, but I didn’t and when the door closed behind me it was as if I had just gotten away with something. 

At home, I sat on my couch and used a nail file to rip through the tape to get to my new toys. The contents were as follows: a Colt waterproof Power Anal-T, a rechargeable Jack Rabbit, and a Berman Center Aphrodite and Juno. The first item is pretty self-explanatory and my first anal toy to speak off. I’m pretty sure everyone is familiar with the Rabbit and as for the Aphrodite and Juno, they are, respectively, an electric massager and a Kegel exerciser. If you need visuals click on the links. 

The first thing I did was wash them with soft soap and warm water. My mother always told me to wash something new before using it, because you just don’t know where it’s been. Personally, I think that’s some good advice! Don’t you? She may not have been speaking of sex toys at the time, but it’s some pretty timely advice nonetheless. 

Stay tuned for more personalized information about each sex toy. Coming soon to a blog near you. 

9 Comments leave one →
  1. wayne permalink
    March 23, 2010 1:34 pm

    So now you’re one of the cool kids with all of the cool toys! All the boys and girls are going to want to come over to your house to play! ;-p

  2. March 23, 2010 3:08 pm

    By invitation only. When you’re one of the cool kids you have to be selective.

  3. Janvanize permalink
    March 23, 2010 4:19 pm

    Too funny when I clicked on the Aphrodite because to my surprise, I already have it, except I have the Conair “massager” branded one from Jean Coutu and the attachments aren’t as good … massager, ya right!!

  4. March 23, 2010 7:08 pm

    I remember seeing one of these “massagers” on a movie once. The chick was single and her friend made some sort of insinuation that she could masturbate with it. I was so young, I didn’t think that you could have vibrators that weren’t meant for penetration and I couldn’t figure out how the girl in the movie could fit something that big into her vagina.

  5. wayne permalink
    March 23, 2010 7:12 pm

    Selective is a good thing Olga! And now I’m going to have to go check out that Aphrodite again just to see what’s going on that I overlooked.

  6. naturegirl1 permalink
    March 24, 2010 8:11 am

    I think there is a generation thing here too, at nearly 53 I can remember how guilty I felt buying my first sex toy when I was in my early 20s (my first husband was with me but the bastard stood back & let me do all the talking!). Also, back then sex shops were not as “mainstream” as they are now, they were quite sordid establishments in a backstreet somewhere that was far from salubrious! Thank goodness for Anne Summers, or better still the internet! Anyway, back to my reply, our elder son’s girlfriend who is 21, is so matter of fact about intimacy & sex toys, she will happily discuss the merits of my Omax rechargeable with me! I half expect her to ask to borrow it sometimes! For the record, she uses a Rampant Rabit…..

  7. March 27, 2010 6:52 am

    Some years back, while cleaning out a rental, I found a large travel bag full of sex toys. The guy who had abandoned the stuff was divorced, and they were his wifes toys. Shortly after he moved, she called wanting them. They were the only possessions left in the apartment she was willing to pay to get back. She found out I had them because we put everything on a public on line auction when we dispose of it. She was not in the least embarassed, and readily told us which were her favorites, and which were junk. My wife is still embarassed by stuff like that.

  8. April 3, 2010 9:25 pm

    Oooo I would love being given free sex toys to review! Looking forward to hearing the reviews! Mwa!

  9. April 3, 2010 10:03 pm

    You should get in contact with Dominadoll from Popmycherry.com.

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