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Playing Doctor & Other Games

January 17, 2010

I was having dinner with two friends of mine recently and we got to talking about sex and how we came to experience our own sexuality as kids. There was something so lovely and innocent about some of the stories that they have now ingrained themselves into their very own corner of my mind. 

It’s not a secret that kids play doctor (or a version of said game) with each other. Most people have a story or two about some sort of sexualized game they used to play with their neighbors or cousins. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours is probably among the top first sexual encounters we’ve all experienced. 

I know I used to play grown up with a couple of the neighborhood kids, a game that wavered on the line between  pretend and reality. Clearly, a lot of these experiences count as our first sexual experiences, but when we grow up and we reach the age where we are expected to enter these sexualized roles and stop pretending, all of a sudden those expectations put us under a lot of pressure and we suddenly forget that we’ve already experienced a hell of a whole lot. 

When I talk about the first time I kissed someone, I don’t tell the story about me and my cousin hiding in a closet when we were five years old and pretending to be a married couple, no, I tell the story about when I was 12 years old and I went on my first official date. Isn’t that strange, to have such a dichotomy in your own mind? The thing I find so lovely about those experiences as a kid is that they’re not tainted with the expectations, pressures and negative stereotypes of being a sexually active adult, and they seem to transcend the idea of gender and sexual orientation resulting in something quite beautiful, no? 

4 Comments leave one →
  1. naturegirl1 permalink
    January 18, 2010 6:02 am

    Maybe I’m wrong, but I believe that the “show me yours & I’ll show you mine” games are an important part of getting through puberty, I know that as I had no real baseline to go by at home, it was through playing these games that I was able to find out I was normally built!
    A bit later (13ish?) I allowed things to go a bit further when I went a stage on with “let me touch yours & I’ll let you touch mine”. The girl in question had a similar family life as me (ie repressed!) & I know we both found the experience stimulating!
    Also, I don’t think that experiments like these with your own sex make you gay or bisexual (though as a gender we girls find it easier to be intimate with another female than guys do with other guys!), but I do sometimes wonder if we are latently bisexual & only the pressures to conform to what society dictates makes us follow a heterosexual path.
    Can I also add that these games are just as important when we find our way with the opposte sex. I like to believe that I was instrumetal in enlightening quite a few boys in my youger days!

  2. January 18, 2010 2:03 pm

    I agree with you there.

  3. December 4, 2010 10:06 am

    lovely post. I like the sound of your friends, so freely chatting about this kind of stuff as adults.

  4. December 4, 2010 2:05 pm

    @ QRG: Thanks. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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