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A Sexy Education

January 8, 2010

I taught myself English by reading the Penthouse forum letters in my brother’s porn magazine collection. As soon as I had the chance, and the rudimentary reading skills, I would hunker down in his twin-sized waterbed, slip my hand between the frame and the wall, and pull out the latest issue of Penthouse.

I never read the articles, but boy did I ever love those steamy letters. Nothing and I mean nothing got my pussy throbbing as fast as reading all those lovely sexy words. Throbbing, a word, the meaning of which, I learned on those ultra-secret masturbatory missions. 

Thank you, Penthouse, for the education! When it came to descriptions of sex, I really had to put my mind to the test when it came to differentiating words like thigh, tight, and tights. Thigh was the worst and the best of the lot. Once I figured out what it meant, I couldn’t get enough of it. It is a word devised with the sole purpose of whispering it into someone’s ear with the quick flutter of the tip of a tongue.

This was a time before the Internet, when you would borrow a book from the library just so you could read that one steamy passage on page 326, even if it meant suffering the literary embarrassment of walking around with a Daniel Steele book tucked under your arm. Ah, Judith Krantz, I remember you well and V.C. Andrews, you have a lot to do with my perverted sense of the erotic. Those names might not live on forever next to works of great literary achievement, but they held my every gasp and attention. They taught me what turned me on and what didn’t.

Eventually, I developed an arrogant sense of literary worth and I moved on to authors like Sade, Miller, Nin, Lawrence and Nabokov to fuel my sexual fantasies, but the lessons I learned from my initial roster of erotic teachers ran deep. You’ll never catch me referring to someone’s cock as a throbbing member, but the sense of excitement evoked by the word throbbing remains. 

5 Comments leave one →
  1. naturegirl1 permalink
    January 11, 2010 4:15 pm

    Ooh, Nin was always good for a moist gusset!! But I found Last Tango in Paris (the film!) a real education, I had not been able to visualise anal sex until then. (for the record, anal is way over-rated!). The boy I went to see that movie with couldn’t believe his luck on the way home!
    I also recal the book the Carpetbaggers had a fruity pasage in it……

  2. January 11, 2010 4:16 pm

    I’ve never seen Last Tango in Paris. It’s on my long long list of thing I must eventually see though.

  3. naturegirl1 permalink
    January 12, 2010 2:34 pm

    I’ve re-read my comment & I think I need to put things straight! I’m NOT saying I had anal sex after seeing Last Tango!! I’m saying I found the film very arousing & ended up making out with the guy on the way home!
    I was barely 17 in 1973 & anal sex was NOT on my agenda. What Last Tango did was make me aware of how anal sex could happen, yes it sowed a seed but it was several years before I felt comfortable enough to try anal intercourse.

  4. January 15, 2010 8:54 pm

    ahhhh V.C Andrews, brings such wonderful memories. I remember starting to read Children in the Attic back in the 5th or 6th grade. I believe reading her books helped me to cultivate my perversions.

    In later years, I started collecting Letters to the Penthouse books. Those stories provided so many ideas for my days as a phone sex operator. Good times 🙂

  5. January 15, 2010 9:11 pm

    I first read V.C. Andrews when I ran out of books to read and starting looking though my aunts bookcase. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I read Flowers in the Attic as well as the three or fours books that followed the dramas of that specific family. I mean, that shit was perverse. And the style of writing too…! I read them all back to back and decided to take a break when I started to narrate my own life using the same voice in my head.

    Can you make good money as a phone sex operator? And how do you go about finding work in that field?

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