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Vibrator Addicted?

January 3, 2010

Have you ever been afraid of becoming addicted to your vibrator? I have, well I wasn’t so much afraid as it has been a thought that has passed through my brain a few times over the years. Especially, when I was younger and much more impressionable. There’s a myth out there that states that if a woman becomes accustomed to achieving orgasms with a vibrator, she will no longer be able to orgasm with other kinds of stimulation. 

I thought that might have been true, because it was (it is) so much easier for me to come with a little vibration, but I’ve come to realize that it’s just not true. Not in the sense that our sexual organs will become desensitized with use and eventually require more and more intensity. Ok, maybe within the same session, but that’s true of any kind of stimulation. 

For those of you that have watched Sex and the City, you’ll be familiar with the episode in which Charlotte buys The Rabbit (check out the Sex Toys at Babeland) and after using it for the first time and finding battery operated bliss, she pretty much ceases to leave her house. The girls eventually have to stage an intervention to convince Charlotte to let go of her new pet. It was a funny episode and it definitely got the point across: pleasure can be addictive and The Rabbit is one hell of a vibrator, but it’s not exactly reality, now is it?

Betty Dodson puts it particularly well in her book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving

Since I continued to have orgasmic sex with my lovers, I finally stopped being afraid of becoming vibrator addicted. I also stopped worrying about wearing my clitoris down to a nub or becoming antisocial. None of that happened. I was far more antisocial when I was love addicted. In those days, what began as pleasure quickly turned into pain as I became obsessed with my beloved. I’ve never been obsessed with a vibrator. My experience with addictions has taught me that pain and frustration induce a fixation. I was like the mice in the scientist’s maze: Those conditioned with pain remained on the same course, while those conditioned with pleasure roamed off onto new paths. 

I really like the points that Betty brought up in that particular passage. I think that the allegory of the mice conditioned with pain or pleasure illustrates a lot of things that hold true to many different situations. For one, it sheds some light on my last relationship. I was definitely conditioned with pain and frustration to keep on trucking (coming back over and over again). Of course no situation is as simple as that and each experience we go through in life has many different sides to it, but the idea that pleasure is a powerful tool in learning to lead a life that is open and filled with choice and opportunity speaks the truth to me, whether it’s in regards to masturbation, sex, love, or the many details that pertain to how we lead our lives. 

I’ve never been addicted to a vibrator, because although it gives me the kind of pleasure that I’ll want to experience for a lifetime, it doesn’t create any other emotions in me. I don’t crave it, or miss it, or immediately long for more when it’s over, because that pleasure is in me to give to myself whenever I like. It’s free, you know what I mean? 

9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 3, 2010 7:02 pm

    Great entry but I’d just like to add one note… some women pretty much need a vibrator to orgasm as they need the deep vibrations that get deep inside, where hands just cannot. There is nothing wrong with that, vibrators can be incorporated into all types of sexual activities and I just want to say that if it gets the women off, then it’s no less “real” or “valid” than an orgasm achieved with a tongue, hands, whatever.

  2. January 3, 2010 7:13 pm

    Oh totally! I agree with you a hundred percent!!!

  3. naturegirl1 permalink
    January 7, 2010 6:44 am

    It’s not so much a case of getting “desensitised”, more a case of finding a vibrator more able to provide the steady, constant frequency of stimulation that tips me over the edge into orgasm. I can reach orgasm through oral and/or finger stimualtion quite satisfactorily, but it’s just that my Omax gets me there that bit more rapidly!
    The ideal situation of course is using my vibrator while Philippe is still hard inside me, but these days he usually comes before I do, so I like him to use HIS fingers inside me while I use the Omax to stimulate my clitoris.

  4. January 7, 2010 6:11 pm

    There are no definite answers when it comes to sex, which is what makes it so fascinating. Certainly, if there’s a vibrator involved, for me anyways, orgasm is pretty much a sure thing. It’s a done deal and there is no doubt in my mind about it, but other methods aren’t as assured to produce satisfactory results.

    I wonder if the people who use/like/need vibrators to achieve orgasm ever find their partners resistant to the idea….

  5. naturegirl1 permalink
    January 8, 2010 6:18 am

    I can honestly say that Philippe actively encourages me to use my vibrator, he not only finds that watching me masturbate to be a turn-on for him he also insists that I should orgasm whenever we make love ( and whenever I choose to play on my own!). He was the one who introduced me to using a vibrator to reach orgasm, he used an old fashioned mains powered Hitachi on me one day & it blew my mind! My previous experience of vibrators before that had been cheap battery poweerd items that were little more than novelties, certainly not up to providing anything more than a bit of stimulation during foreplay. He certainly doesn’t feel threatened by my Omax in any way.

  6. January 8, 2010 8:39 pm

    Well, that doesn’t surprise me! From everything that you’ve written, you guys seem to have a really healthy relationship, which is pretty amazing.

  7. February 7, 2010 9:39 am

    just for vibrator fun check out this cool video, i am still killing myself laughing….p.s. it is cartoon, not porn

  8. Kathleen permalink
    March 20, 2011 7:24 pm

    Aha, oh my gosh that picture is hilarious!

  9. Kathleen permalink
    March 20, 2011 7:27 pm

    Hmm… That’s funny.

    Recently I’ve been thinking that because I’ve been using my fingers and clitoral scrubs, that I might not be able to orgasm with a vibrator because it is too intense and might hurt a bit. Weird.

    But then just yesterday I proved that worry wrong. So, my advice? Don’t sweat it (or do sweat, but just don’t worry about how you get off). You won’t sexually hadicap yourself.

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