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What Are Your Inhibitions?

December 1, 2009

I’m sure even the most extraverted of us have inhibitions. Perhaps they are things we just aren’t  comfortable with or that we feel awkward about. I know that I am much more comfortable openly talking about things in a detached way than I am when it gets personal. I think that most of my inhibitions stem from my insecurities, but that can’t always be the case, can it? Some of them surely stem from our expectations or the expectations of others. Sometimes it feels like an internal struggle between the person I really am and the person who hides behind some sort of self-deprecation.

At present, I can tell you that I am not very comfortable with my own body and in some situations I can come off as being a little bit of a prude, when in reality I’m just ashamed of what my body looks like. In my early twenties I didn’t give a shit, hell I would have walked down the street butt naked if I had felt like it and now, I stop myself from taking off my clothes even when I want to. I’m not just talking about sexually either, swimming would be an example or wearing less clothes when it’s hot is another. 

Definitely the place where it hurts the most is in a sexual relationship, because it stops me from completely letting go and enjoying the moment. When I was younger it was the complete opposite, my inhibitions stemmed from inexperience. Not wanting to do something, because I didn’t know how and I was afraid to ask for some guidance. Most of the time, I plowed through, not having a clue and certainly not aware of the delicate communication that there can be between two people in bed. 

I’m not afraid of that anymore, although it’s definitely a skill that needs to be refined from person to person, but I still crave some sort of reassurance. A reassurance that I want from the other person. I know that’s not what they teach you when talking about self-esteem and confidence, but sometimes I can’t help but want that reflected in the world around me. I like being told I’m beautiful, I like feeling desirable, and maybe that is totally uncouth of me to say, because I know that ultimately I have to think that about myself, but damn does it ever feel good when someone else says it. 

6 Comments leave one →
  1. naturegirl permalink
    December 2, 2009 11:20 am

    I’m obviously the wrong person to ask about being inhibited!!! My problem is that I think at 52 I should be a little MORE circumspect when it comes to me & my body!
    I come from a fairly strict family, my parents were (still are) almost victorian in their attitudes to sex, nudity, privacy etc. I lived in the shadow of my older sister who could do no wrong in their eyes, so it’s hardly a surprise to know that I rebelled. Big Time. I discovered quite young that letting boys see or touch parts of my anatomy that my parents considered private or even dirty, was a great way of getting their attention. I look back at my teenage years & think how lucky I was not to get pregnant, pick up an STI or end up becoming a total slut.
    But then I found that being promiscuous had it’s advantages, I learned a lot about my body & it’s responses, I broke loose from the stifling shackles my parents imposed on my perception of the human body and I also got to have some great times as well.
    After the break-up of my 1st marriage, I went to live with my Aunt in the states where she helped me to come to terms with my self esteem (or lack of), she taught me to love myself & also to enjoy the moment as this is the only life you get to have! I learned to model (she was an artist) which stood me in good stead when I retuned to London & had to supplement my meagre income by posing for art classes. And let’s not forget, that’s where I met Philippe!! The rest is history.
    He nurtured my lack of inhibition, made it a positive thing. I now realise that we should all be proud of our bodies, regardless of the shape/size/colour. There is no need to be coy about our pudenda, everyone has the same basic equipment! Over the years I figure that 100s, if not 1000s of people have seen my bits, on the beach, in health clubs (just try climbing into a hot tub without giving all those present an eyefull!!) & here on cuntlove (yes, my genitalia is one of those in the Beautiful Cunt galleries!), so I’m way past caring anymore.
    I just wish sometimes I wouldn’t be QUITE so ready to reveal all!

  2. yeahbutnobutyeahbut permalink
    December 3, 2009 9:38 pm

    My menstrual blood. Menstruating in general actually.

    I had it ingrained in me that it was something I should hide away and felt great shame if I was with a lover and my period started…

    As much as I have worked to let this go, it’s still with me. I’m at a point where I masturbate joyfully whilst bleeding, but still hesitate when it comes to sex.

    I’ll get there.

  3. December 4, 2009 12:39 am

    I used to be very inhibited about my feet. I had a foot aversion! I avoided a lot of activities that required bare feet, like belly dancing, yoga, swimming, figure modeling.

    I finally got over my hangup by spending some time with men who have foot fetishes. They helped me see the beauty in a foot – they pointed out that a foot is like a miniature version of the women – curves and all.

    SOO glad I finally got over it. I really enjoy yoga and figure modeling. But I still don’t wear sandals. 🙂

  4. December 16, 2009 2:12 pm

    Well, it’s cool to hear that progress has been made in terms of feeling better about something that you used to feel shame about. Shame is one of the worst feelings ever. And about sex, it definitely helps to be with a partner with whom you feel comfortable enough to express the things that you feel uncomfortable about.

  5. December 16, 2009 2:24 pm

    I never had a foot aversion per se, but I also definitely came to love my feet through the eyes of a lover who had a particular interest in feet. Feet is a common one, I know a lot of women who do not like to have their feet touched. Inhibitions or harmful when they stop you from enjoying an activity that you would like to partake in. I know a lot of people, myself included, that will avoid certain situations and activities because of some inhibition. It can be as simple as being afraid to dance in public when you’d really like to, but that’s all part of life, isn’t it, evolving as a person and overcoming obstacles in your life that might impede your happiness. So yay, for being able to enjoy yoga and figure modeling.

  6. December 16, 2009 3:00 pm

    It’s crazy how much of an impact our parents have on us, but it’s the same thing with everything in life. It has to do with how we evolve (even ideas evolve in the same way), formed, influenced and built on what came before. I don’t think that being completely uninhibited is a bad thing, I mean as long as it doesn’t cause you any problems, right? If it was destructive, it would be a whole other kettle of fish, but if it makes you comfortable and it’s what you like, I say go for it! I think it’s healthy.

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