Stranger Grabs Boob Out of Nowhere
I stopped over at a friend’s house last night on my way home from my local pub. It was late and although I was stone cold sober the three guys I was with were drunk as hell. I didn’t really know the other two guys, but it never even crossed my mind that I might be entering a precarious situation.
Turns out, one of the guys is a huge fan of my blog, which kind of made me a little uncomfortable in the sense that I was suddenly aware that this person knew a lot of private information about me and that besides the fact that he’s my friend’s roommate’s best friend, I knew absolutely nothing about him.
He was in one of those drunken states where you lose certain basic social skills and start invading other people’s personal spaces much too easily and much too often. Frankly, even if one of my very good friend’s does that, I feel uncomfortable. I like my space dammit and some people just don’t get to enter it, and if you are allowed to you should view that as a privilege.
Let’s just say that despite his slightly inappropriate behavior up until the point where he just reached out and straight on grabbed my right tit, it still came as a little bit of a shock. He wasn’t even looking at me, and then his arm just reached out and palmed my boob. I stepped back and pulled his hand away. My friend stepped in and tried to stand between us, and the plan of action became trying to put him to bed. Something he kept resisting, since he would always come back. It seemed his mission to apologize and tell me that he was in love with a girl whose name I can’t remember, but even his sense of apologizing was to aggressive.
I knew that accepting his apology would probably go a long way in making a bad situation worse, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do that. I wasn’t angry, I was calm, but the last thing I wanted to do was be in a position where I had to accept his apology. I’m sure that he’s a nice guy, and he was very drunk at the time, but I don’t feel like I should have to explain his actions away. My friend told me to hide in the bathroom. The guy who grabbed my tit followed and I was happy I had enough time to lock the door. I wasn’t afraid, but I did suddenly feel trapped when he tried to turn the doorknob.
The other two guys then put him in one of the bedrooms and then ushered me out of the building. It was around 4:30am at this point and although I only had to walk home for about one block, I was much too aware of being alone on a dark street at night. I almost wished to myself that I had asked my friend to walk me home, but then I felt bad about thinking that in the first place… as if it was a silly thought to have had in the first place. It annoyed me that as a girl, I would feel vulnerable enough to want to ask for some form of protection.
On my short walk home, I wondered about these things and questioned my own reaction to the entire situation. Should I have been more upset? Should I have been more vocal about the fact that what he did wasn’t right? Was I overreacting and should I just let it go and smooth things over? I really couldn’t figure out which was which and I felt stuck between two extremes. It was not a pleasant feeling.
When I got home, my friend had sent me an email apologizing for what just happened and I told him not to feel bad, because it certainly wasn’t his fault. Today, I got an email from the person who grabbed my boob in which he apologized and told me he couldn’t remember what had happened and that his friends told him what he did and that he felt really bad about it. Getting that second email felt like another invasion of privacy and even though I’m sure he really did feel bad about it and was sincerely apologizing, I did not feel like responding and assuaging his guilt. Besides, I’ve never felt comfortable around people who use being drunk as an excuse for bad behavior.
I’m not writing this to villainize this person, I derive no pleasure from that. I considered not writing about it since he does read this blog and I do not want to reinforce any bad feelings, but I didn’t like the idea that I would censor myself on this particular topic. That would just go against what all of this is about. I did, however, wonder if this blog played a role in what happened. Perhaps the fact that he had read so many intimate things about me somehow broke down a barrier where he felt like he knew me, while on my part, I considered him to be a complete stranger. The implication of that line of thought leaves me troubled.