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A Rant About Californication

October 25, 2009

pc-1006Let me preface my little rant by saying that I like the TV show Californication. It’s funny, and dirty and all the little things in between, but lately  a few things have popped up that have made me cringe and frankly, I don’t cringe so easily. 

In season two Hank Moody and his idiot best friend Charlie Runkle have a threesome with a woman that Hank has already slept with, but he doesn’t remember the woman in question and more specifically he doesn’t remember why he never called her back in the first place. While Charlie is going down on this lovely young woman, Hank suddenly remembers why he didn’t call. Turns out she’s a squirter, but this little tidbit of information comes back to him a little too late, because she comes all over Charlie’s face before Hank has a chance to tell him. 

Now, I don’t give a shit that they had a threesome with this chick or that Hank has fucked so many women in the course of the show that he can’t bother to remember them, but what gets me is that HE WOULDN’T CALL HER BACK BECAUSE SHE CAME ON HIM. Seriously, what kind of message is that? The likes of Hank Moody and Charlie Runkle should teach today’s youth that a girl who squirts is kinda freakin’ hot and that female ejaculate is nothing to be grossed out by. I mean fuck, people should really evaluate any icky feelings they have about sex. I for one say, let’s love and relish each other’s cum. 

A few episodes ago in this season’s time line, Runkle had the brilliant idea that since his ex-wife had expressed the desire to indulge in a rape fantasy with the guy she was dating, that it would be OK for him to sneak into her room with a pair of nylons over his face and start fucking her while she was asleep in an attempt to win her back. I don’t even have to tell you how many shades of wrong his brilliant idea was, but let’s say that when she woke up after a few seconds of getting fucked by some dude in a nylon mask, she wasn’t too pleased. Of course, she recognized him right away and threw him off the bed, but both of their reactions where completely nuts. Sure, she told him that what had just happened wasn’t a “rape fantasy”, but an actual rape. A concept he didn’t exactly seem to grasp and more to the point after her initial being pissed off at him, it was ALL alright. Am I alone in thinking that that is NOT how that situation would go down in real life? 

The other scene that bugged the hell out of me was in the last episode. Charlie and his ex-wife Marcie are showing their house to some potential buyers and when they all walk into the bathroom there’s a tampon and some menstrual blood in the toilet bowl. Everyone reacts like this is the most disgusting thing they have ever seen and the couple visiting the house walk out of there so fast you barely have a chance to see the look of utter disgust on their faces. Even though this couple was quite interested in buying the house, the deal falls through because of a little blood. 

Apparently, the reality that women bleed out of their cunts once a month is a little too much for some people to handle. Quite frankly, I would prefer to see a blood soaked tampon in a toilet bowl over a huge log of shit any day and what pisses me off the most is that I’m sure that if it has been the kitchen sink that had been covered in blood, because of a cut on Marcie’s finger the situation would not have turned into such ridiculous chaos. 

All that to say, in my humble opinion, that people need to grow the fuck up and stop perpetuating a culture of ridiculous myths and attitudes towards sex and all too regular bodily functions. 

5 Comments leave one →
  1. jessica permalink
    October 25, 2009 10:47 pm

    oh Olgie,

    I have to defend.

    Charlie is a stupid character, it makes sense that he wouldn’t get what a “rape fantasy” is in relation to a real rape.

    BUT, in the defense of the two characters together. They are clearly really close and I don’t know…everyone has their own comfort level.
    If I was still in love with someone and they broke into my room and did it with me without me saying “yes, you can do it to me”, I think I’d be ok with it.

    I know that not everyone is like that, but there is a degree of closeness that dictates what is ok and what’s not. Charlie isn’t smart by any means, but his character is fully non-violent toward his wife…despite his indiscretions, he respects her…so it doesn’t seem like the sentiment was to violate her, it was just his bad call on ways that might please her…( i think he’s really just dumb)

    furthermore, there was a prior episode of Californication when Hank goes home with his daughters boyfriend’s mom…she says she has her period, and he says that kind of thing doesn’t bother him at all – i mean, really it was a great “man” reaction to something that WAY too many men get grossed out about.
    I was impressed. So although this episode you’re talking about isn’t a good reflection of the open-minded attitudes Californication often reflects, I feel inclined to defend the writers, cause I’ve never really felt any disrespect despite the diverse amounts of sexual content involved.

    I F*n LOVE that show…=) as I know you do too.

  2. jessica permalink
    October 25, 2009 10:49 pm

    p.s. I agree with the other point there…the threesome sitch…that was lame.

  3. October 25, 2009 11:52 pm

    Alright, I see your point, but I just couldn’t get over how much of an idiot Charlie Runkle is. I totally saw the whole “fantasy rape” debacle coming as soon as he asked his boss whether or not women fantasize about it. Seriously think about it, if your ex (you know the one) broke into your room while wearing a freakin’ pair of nylons over his face, crawls into bed with you while you are COMPLETELY ASLEEP and then proceeded to fuck you, I don’t know how ok you would actually be with it. The shock factor alone would be totally traumatizing. Even if you recognized him almost immediately, I’m sure anyone would experience a few seconds of intense terror. And I’m just not sure how easily that could be erased by “I’m really close and intimate with this person and love(d) them”.

    That’s a good point though, about Hank having sex with a woman and not giving a shit that she’s having her period. I remember that now that you mention it and it was pretty nice to see that on mainstream television.

  4. Julia permalink
    October 26, 2009 3:07 pm

    note to self: i must look out for this series should it ever get a run here in the UK! Series 1 got shown, I know, but i don’t think it ever went beyond that!

  5. October 26, 2009 3:30 pm

    It may be uncouth, but I don’t have cable, so I watch the show online. And there’s always the renting the DVD option. It really is a great TV show.

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