A Rant About Californication
Let me preface my little rant by saying that I like the TV show Californication. It’s funny, and dirty and all the little things in between, but lately a few things have popped up that have made me cringe and frankly, I don’t cringe so easily.
In season two Hank Moody and his idiot best friend Charlie Runkle have a threesome with a woman that Hank has already slept with, but he doesn’t remember the woman in question and more specifically he doesn’t remember why he never called her back in the first place. While Charlie is going down on this lovely young woman, Hank suddenly remembers why he didn’t call. Turns out she’s a squirter, but this little tidbit of information comes back to him a little too late, because she comes all over Charlie’s face before Hank has a chance to tell him.
Now, I don’t give a shit that they had a threesome with this chick or that Hank has fucked so many women in the course of the show that he can’t bother to remember them, but what gets me is that HE WOULDN’T CALL HER BACK BECAUSE SHE CAME ON HIM. Seriously, what kind of message is that? The likes of Hank Moody and Charlie Runkle should teach today’s youth that a girl who squirts is kinda freakin’ hot and that female ejaculate is nothing to be grossed out by. I mean fuck, people should really evaluate any icky feelings they have about sex. I for one say, let’s love and relish each other’s cum.
A few episodes ago in this season’s time line, Runkle had the brilliant idea that since his ex-wife had expressed the desire to indulge in a rape fantasy with the guy she was dating, that it would be OK for him to sneak into her room with a pair of nylons over his face and start fucking her while she was asleep in an attempt to win her back. I don’t even have to tell you how many shades of wrong his brilliant idea was, but let’s say that when she woke up after a few seconds of getting fucked by some dude in a nylon mask, she wasn’t too pleased. Of course, she recognized him right away and threw him off the bed, but both of their reactions where completely nuts. Sure, she told him that what had just happened wasn’t a “rape fantasy”, but an actual rape. A concept he didn’t exactly seem to grasp and more to the point after her initial being pissed off at him, it was ALL alright. Am I alone in thinking that that is NOT how that situation would go down in real life?
The other scene that bugged the hell out of me was in the last episode. Charlie and his ex-wife Marcie are showing their house to some potential buyers and when they all walk into the bathroom there’s a tampon and some menstrual blood in the toilet bowl. Everyone reacts like this is the most disgusting thing they have ever seen and the couple visiting the house walk out of there so fast you barely have a chance to see the look of utter disgust on their faces. Even though this couple was quite interested in buying the house, the deal falls through because of a little blood.
Apparently, the reality that women bleed out of their cunts once a month is a little too much for some people to handle. Quite frankly, I would prefer to see a blood soaked tampon in a toilet bowl over a huge log of shit any day and what pisses me off the most is that I’m sure that if it has been the kitchen sink that had been covered in blood, because of a cut on Marcie’s finger the situation would not have turned into such ridiculous chaos.
All that to say, in my humble opinion, that people need to grow the fuck up and stop perpetuating a culture of ridiculous myths and attitudes towards sex and all too regular bodily functions.