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It’s Your Body, Enforce Your Own Boundaries

October 19, 2009

pc-145I was having tea with a couple of friends the other day and we started swapping a couple stories back and forth. You know the kind that are usually only shared by woman when sitting around a table. A few things were talked about that I feel like sharing with the world at large and before I jump into my own personal brand of story, I’d like to say that one of the women told me about how she went to see a doctor recently, because of this on-going pain in her side, and this elderly man to whom she had entrusted her health didn’t even bother asking her any questions or checking out the painful spot in question, because to him the source of the pain was without a doubt a direct consequence of her weight. 

Now, the woman in question is by no means obese, her weight is by and by pretty average, but this doctor had the nerve to tell her, without even blinking an eye, to lose some weight because “women of her age and size start to feel pain in their bodies”. First of all, she’s 28 years old and healthy and the fact that this is the first place that his mind would go is pretty appalling. I guess it’s totally unsurprising when you consider that a lot of physicians have less respect for their patient who have a higher BMI (you can read more about that here). 

This conversation led us to discuss the importance, or should I say necessity, of being more self-aware and better informed about our own health and how our bodies function. That’s what these types of conversations are about, right? Sharing information that make us more aware of the world at large and by correlation ourselves. I’ve learned countless things while sitting around a table and talking to friends. Sometimes, the simplest comment can open up entirely different perspective for you. 

I can’t tell you how much heartache I could have prevented for myself with a little more self-awareness and a little less clumsy fear and ignorance. Had I simply taken more control over my own role in certain sexual experiences, I could have avoided finding myself in some pretty unsavory situations. 

When I was fifteen years old and I was about to have sex for the second time in my life, I asked the boy I was with if he had a condom. He said yes, turned to the side and pretend to take one from his bedside table. The room was pitch dark and I assumed that he had indeed put one on, but sadly I was mistaken. A fact I would only clue into when his cum was dripping out of my pussy. I could feel the wet spot forming on the bed in between my legs, so I asked him again, in a barely audible voice, “did you wear a condom?” He told me he did, but after an uncomfortable pause he added “doesn’t matter, I didn’t cum inside of you anyways”. 

Now, with a little more light and a little more confidence in my own ability to control the situation, I might have known he wasn’t wearing a condom before his jizz was pouring out of me. I’m just saying, a little knowledge never killed anyone. It’s your body, it’s up to you to impose some boundaries and make sure that they are enforced whether it’s with your doctor or some asshole that you think you’re in love with. 

4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 19, 2009 9:53 pm

    Loud and clear. ¡Bravo!

  2. October 19, 2009 9:54 pm

    Aww, thanks!

  3. aimee permalink
    October 19, 2009 11:33 pm

    Great advice. It’s very important for women to learn how to set boundaries and enforce them, and the very beginning of that comes with loving yourself enough to want to take care of yourself. I’m just getting started on this and I’m 32.

  4. October 19, 2009 11:40 pm

    I know what you mean, I’m 28 and everyday (especially since I’ve started writing this blog) I learn a little something new. It really is one of those life long journeys type of thing…I just wish we were showed that at a much younger age or that our education system or plain old society in general made it easier on us to discover these things in the first place.

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