I’m a strong believer in therapy, I think it can be really helpful to some people, but to be honest, I’m really bad at it. I constantly don’t show-up for appointments without calling first and then I wait a month to schedule another one, which is exactly why I’m in this mess right now.

I didn’t go to my last therapy appointment, which was right before the Holidays and then I waited a month, until I was in true crisis mode, to call and schedule another appointment. Of course, she was booked up all week and the fact that I was feeling near some sort of edge didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t see me right away.

If I was in her office right now, I would tell her how I’ve spent part of the week going from hopelessly sad, to angry, and back again. Maybe you’re all sick of hearing about it, god knows I’m sick of saying it… but I would like to add a few things to So My Ex Is Dating Someone New; a post I wrote earlier this week.

It took me a while, but I got angry. Angry, because he didn’t tell me about it sooner. You see, he told me earlier this week, the first I’ve heard of any of this, that they officially became a couple sometime between Christmas and New Years. At first, I felt like a fool, because our “friendship,” which is more than that and less all at the same time means that we communicate with each other in ways that go beyond what you would do with just a regular friend.

For instance, on January 2nd, I sent him some pictures of myself and various X-Mas stuff, to which he responded with something along the lines of “you have lips from heaven” among other things. Then on January 12th he sent me the following email (redacted):

Been thinking about you a lot, how you take good care of yourself and how you always are into cool shit. I think it’s rad that you are a writer who gets paid for writing and I really liked my Christmas card alot! Also I think the last time I really laughed hard was with you on the phone. I think you might be the person who understands me the most out of anyone and that’s pretty fucking cool, also still loving my raven skull necklace.

I miss you Olga!

Lotsa love,

Some of these links are old news, because I’ve been bookmarking them and then never doing anything about it, but if you’ve missed any of these stories, now is a good time to catch up.

Helen Mirren Will Own Your Interview by Nora’s Necessities: I really love watching this old footage of a young Helen Mirren giving an interview in 1975 to a dude who is pretty much obsessed with her boobs. Not only is Helen Mirren one kickass lady, but she’s smart as a whip. After you watch this interview, you should check out this video, which is an interview she gave with the same dude almost thirty years later. The contrast and similarities really made me think.

Margaret Cho Rightfully Looses Her Shit by Margaret Cho: Margaret Cho got a fabulous tattoo on her ass, took a picture, posted it on twitter, and a shit storm erupted. Some shithead(s) thought it was appropriate to fat-shame her. Her response was dead-on and straight to the point. Definitely worth a read.

You Should Fear The Barbie Crotch by Jess Zimmerman: A plastic camel-toe crotch shield. It’s a thing. It exists. Read all about it.

Some Fascinating Argentinean LGBT Rights PSAs by Thomas Roche: “The PSA is part of a campaign to support Argentina’s Transgender Identity Law, currently being considered by the Argentinian Senate. The bill is meant, among other things, to make it easier to change the gender on one’s ID without proof of gender reassignment surgery. The gorgeous PSA was produced by a federation of Argentinian LGBT rights organizations.”

He Wants to Jizz on Your Face, But Not Why Your Think by Hugo Schwyzer: An interesting alternative to the whole “he wants to jizz on your face to demean you and take a position of power” rhetoric.

‘They’ is me by Ivan Coyote: A response to Xtra!’s decision to not use people’s preferred pronoun; an important issue in gender rights and identity.

One Teacher’s Approach to Preventing Gender Bullying in a Classroom – It’s Okay to be Neither by Melissa Bollow Temple: I think it’s important for schools to support gender variant  children and to teach their teachers who to deal with gender bullying. Here’s a great example on how one teacher works to achieve that.

I’m The ‘Scary’ Model In That Awful Ashley Madison Ad   by Jacqueline: In case you didn’t know Ashley Madison is a dating website for people looking to step-out on their husbands/wives… the dating site used the image of an overweight woman in an ad that was pretty exploitative. Click the link to read more about it.

For The Record, Fat Women Totally Get Laid Too by Emily McCombs: This is a response to the ad mentioned in the above article and it’s a good one too. For the record, Emily McCombs is my new online obsession. Love. her.

Do This Don’t: Slutty Halloween Costume by Emily McCombs: Ya, ya, Halloween was months ago, I know. Whatever. I liked this article because it actually changed my mind about something and how often does that happen? I used to look down on women who would wear those ridiculous sexy Halloween costumes, and although I still prefer a costume with a little imagination put behind it… I was participating in slut-shaming with my better than you attitude. As Emily puts it: “Those out there casually bitching about “slutty costumes” on Halloween should stop and have a long think about just what’s wrong with dressing “slutty,” or acting “slutty” for that matter. And maybe explain just what wearing revealing clothing has to do with promiscuity anyway? I could dress up like a cheerleader every day of the year, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting you go deep in my tight end. (Those are words that I think are related to football.)” I though about it Emily, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Have a wild weekend, y’all, or not, whatever you do there’s definitely some reading up in here to keep you occupied during those down times!

Sometimes, I don’t feel like writing about anything that pertains to Cuntlove’s theme(s). When I first started this blog, I wanted it to fit into a particular niche… I wanted it to be all sex positive, educational, feminist, and let’s all love ourselves, etc, etc, and while all those things are still important to me, I sometimes feel like I’ve written myself into a box.

I’ve won a couple blogging awards of the sexiest blog type, and I feel that if I don’t keep writing about sex I’ll somehow be disappointing people. When I first started reading about blogging, I read a couple of articles that said it was important to pick a niche and to stick with it, so as to not alienate your readers.

It’s good advice, it makes sense. The people who come here to read posts about female ejaculation might not like reading about that time I felt sad because my ex is dating someone new, and the people who like my more personal posts might get annoyed when I write about pornstar Bobbi Starr and her pubes.

The thing is, I can’t make everyone happy. I can only write what I feel like writing about at the time.

In the beginning, writing Cuntlove was freeing, because I didn’t have a sense of what people expected from me as a writer, as a blogger, I could do anything. Now, I think about “oh no, what if my aunt reads this” or “what if this post falls below expectations.”

It’s enough of that, I say. No more second guessing. I can only be myself! It’s the best any of use can do. Sure, I’m insecure sometimes, but I’m willing to put it all out there, to put myself on the line for better or worse. Balls out so to speak. No more house limit.